If you only knew how shallow i can be….

…but there´s no fun in that is it? 😀

I love writing strong provocing texts about what i find important. That doesen´t mean it defines my everyday person or my mindset in general So don´t confuse me with my writing. It´s just fingers flying through the universe of the keyboard in high velocity.

But!

-I´m always as truthful as i can.. and always sincere.

Today i got to think about if i should turn my back on what i love doing for an occupation right now…and sell out to the vultures of the market once again.

It´s just to freakin´hard to get by financially. Shit. If i make that descition i would REALLY get depressed. I would dress in a suit once again, cut my hair, wear glasses and spend endless hours in meetings doing completly unnecessary acts for no one but my self and my wallet.

…beause that is what a lot of business people do. Not all of them, not the healthy minded…but the market has grown a culture where companies and goverments creates a lot of administrative jobs that are completly pointless. Created just because they can be created. Giving a lot of dead meat an occupation. Their long days of work are often completly useless.

I dont want to be one of them. I can, and i´m very qualified for very high-level positions in a lot of ways… but if i take that kind f a job once again… i would really get into trouble as i never ”play the game” anymore. They would employ a no-bullshitter troublemaker with the sole focus of doing whats right… and that may not be what is asked of me…haha…:-D

So…i´m thinking. Hesitating. Wishing and hoping that i will get by without having to do this.

Time will tell.

Rigth now, tonight.. i´m at perfect ease. My daugther sleeping in the next room, i have a calm mind and a good book to look forward to.

My life does not contain lies right now. No lies at all. I don´t lie. I avoid people that i suspect would lie to me. I don´t hustle, manipulate, compromize. Do you understand the freedom in that? It is an unbelivable feeling of hight, pride, selfrespect and joy!

So.. if i´m forced back into the pot of ordinary business life again, my life would be full of confused people all around me again, lying, manipulating, cheating, competing and comprimizing.

I think that would eventually drive me insane.

So… wish me luck in the struggle of keeping independent. You wouldn´t recognise me after five months on a regular job.

love

/S