The trick is to find out if you are fooling yourself.
Like for instance; how´s that dream of yours doing, about having a relation that looks like in every magazine, TV-series and your dreams as a teen said it will have to look like?
Not going to well is it?
That could have something to do with the fact, that we are beeing tricked into normality from a very early age, because beeing twosome (by the old family values), makes us the best customers/consumers.
We spend the most money beeing married, having a few kids, living life as in a family sitcom from the 50´s.
The fact that a ”normal family” is the best comsumer-unit makes every financial force in the world try to push you in that direction.
I´ts not love.
Have you ever thought of an alternative way to meet and live beside a man or a woman having kids and regular company of eachother? A way tailormade for _your_ real needs and expectations on life?
You see.. most women and men these days, are so unawear and mislead inside, that they don´t have access to their real emotions.
The expectations of how a relation needs to look like to be perfect are all planted there by parents and the market, making you a prisoner in a preprogrammed behaviour you are not really awear of.
You don´t even have a free will about it, if you havent broken out of it and seen the alternatives and what you _really_ would need.
Look at it; you expect to fall in love, get a home, grow some kids, raising them there and live happily ever after.
You really think you will succeed in doing that without sufficating or hanging from a rope within 15 years?
In Sweden 60 % of all marriages end within FIVE years after the wedding. More than half of them.
Doesn´t that tell you, that you have to close in on love, yourself and your potential partner from another perspective?
I´m not very optimistic abut it coming to a change.
I find that most people hope to be among the 10 % that stays married and fight for it to work through their whole lives. Yeah right.
-Are you vaccinated from the risk of divorce? Have you been taking some magic drug to prevent failiure? I don´t think so.
Can´t you see that something more fundamental about it must be wrong in the first place? Something that has to do with men and women´s expectations, lack of readyness and attitude to relations in the first place?
People often dive into a crush, a passion, a love that looks ”good enough” and get married.
Most of them are divorced in five years.
Now… i´m writing this to _protect you and get you to think! I´m a romantic myself, and would very much like to find someone that fits… but not at any cost. I find that almost _all_ of the women i meet, signaling they want me, carry this perverted and distorted illusion about our future as a couple.
I feel i´m sometimes dating a commerial for interiour decorating or IKEA or something.
The deepest most sensible woman can turn into a lunatic when they try to project their dream created as a 13-year old girl, of how they want to stand at the altar on me.
Well listen, -anyone asked themself where this narrow, onetrack-obsession comes from?
-It comes from the market wanting you to feel that way.
Because when a couple has gotten married, they buy a car, a TV, a house, furniture, baby-articles, a dog, a lawnmower, curtains, pots and pans, skates, toys, flat-TV:s, computers, towels, christmas decorations, a LOT of food, they buy summer cabins, mobile homes, tents, computergames, hockey-gear for their kids, vacations abroad… etc. The consumption NEVER ENDS!!! The market LOVES it! If they had their way EVERYONE would be married and have a family, because then they´d make so much money the world would not be big enough to hold it!
I think you should live by your own will, your own standards and needs. But you need to grow, evolve and develope first to be able to find out what those conscist of.
Find out what they are.
Maybe they are to live in an apartment and travel with your partner and kid and live in india for six months every year. Maybe your way of life is to have a relation where you have separate homes and meet only when you wish to.
All im saying is that there are a million possabilities that are NOT stated by your preprogrammed illusions and the market.
If you brake free from this mental prison first and THEN get married, it´s very possible that you´ll stay together for the rest of your life.
Wouldn´t that feel good? 🙂