…as i lay in the bathtub.
I heard her fragile and tiny little voice from her room, singing without words, just a happy humming, as she made a drawing with her Crayons. I dont think she was even awear of that she was singing.
The sound of her voice went across the apartment, through the open door to the bathroom and i suddenly realized, that she felt completley safe and calm. She felt happy. She felt loved. She was perfectly at ease with her life. Singing her little tune. And i also realized, that she is like this most of the time. She is happy 99% of the time.
Then it all hit me: She is happy because of me. Me and her mother. She is happy because i am a good father, and because of the fact that her parents, though separated, loves and respect eachother enough to create a safe and stimulating environment for our precious daughter.
Im glad she did not see me, with tears of joy running down my cheeks, dripping silently to vanish among the bubbles in the bathtub. I realized, i´m a good father.
I´m a good father.
My daughter is brave. Have integrity. Takes no shit. Stakes her claim. She is generous, fair and curious. She cleans the table, gives presents to her buddies at daycare. She is not very loud, but has a great sense of humor. She can express her feelings and needs. She can spell at the age of 4. She loves music, dancing and to learn new words.
I… i cant tell you, how much my life has changed.
Business bullshit, competition, love-debacles, alcohol… it is…just out the window.
I know that my earlier lifestyle was absolutley pointless.
Ab-so-lu-tley pointless.
Would i have continued walking that road, i would have been born in vain.
Are you going to be born in vain?
If you are, or wants to be a parent, make shure you don´t get to tied up buying the house, building a carrieer, or hunting down and marrying a sexy airhead just because of your fucked up love-compass and egoistic needs!
Why is that? -you may ask
-Well… if you get a little son or daughter in the middle of all that shallow shit, you may never get to hear your child sing from the next room, as you lay in your bath, with tears of joy running down your cheeks.
You weren´t born to fulfill your own needs. You were born to find completion in fulfilling your childrens needs. That´s what it´s all about.
/Stefan
