What is it about me that you see? What tickles?

My strength? My potency? My creativity? My verbal skills? My danger?

Then fuck you. Leave. Now.

You know… im not that much of a dreamfullfiller. I have no money, i don´t care about my fame or social status, i don´t buy cars etc.

I just want to be seen, accepted and loved. No questions asked.

I´m a man. Clean and simple, that finally learned to let go, to accept, to embrace, to tolerate, to see what´s within.

I often feel, that i have nothing to bring into a relationship. You know… ”nothing to see here, i´m not for you, move along”.

Still, i know i have everything to bring, of what´s important.

Half baked souls, women, sometimes mistake me for a saviour, a salvation, someone who will bring meaning to the dark path of their lives. I don´t know. I don´t think i´m up for the task.

I need a lot of things myself. I need a woman that can undress herself completly before me. IN every aspect. A woman who can give, take charge sometimes, surprise me. Make me scream.

For me to release all my qualities in a relation, i need a two way communication. I don´t want to pose. I dont want to have to pretend that i´m an alpha-male. Even if i am sometimes.

I need to be able to die sometimes, to become five years old before a woman without her thinking less of me.

I am. I am.

I am everything you ever dreamed of. I have the skills to make your every wish come true.

But i don´t want that to be the foundation of your interest in me.

Please, let me fall apart before you, then understand, accept and forgive me and accept my flaws. Accept me, see me and then adore me. Without me having to perform. At all.

That is the secret. That would conquere my heart.


6 thoughts on “Ok. So you think you want me.

  1. Phoenix skriver:

    Wow. Lucky girl, whoever she is 🙂

  2. Stefan skriver:

    Oh… she´s not around yet. I think. Not that i know of anyway…but i may come to realize that i just wasn´t paying attention. 🙂

  3. Phoenix skriver:

    She\’s probably already somewhere in your sphere. Sooner or later she\’ll orbit close enough for you to see her 🙂

  4. Stefan skriver:

    Mm…i guess you´re right. I´m a bit scared of what she might bring though. I really need to kickstart my faith in people again. :-D..och..det var ju inte helt nödvändigt för mig att skriva på engelska ser jag nu. Det är en grej jag har att försöka utveckla språket. Kommer fram mer av mig av nån anledning. Kolla, jag låter trivial på Svenska på en gång! LOL

  5. Phoenix skriver:

    Personally I\’m a trilingual, and I\’ll use what ever language feels more natural at the time. Så jag växlar ofta mellan alla mina modersmål, uansett hva det er jeg vil forsøke å si. That\’s just me. But this language is special. It has a certain way of expressing the inner me that the other languages doesn\’t have. Så använd det språk du spontant skulle välja för att uttrycka det du vill säga, för mig är de alla lika naturliga.Don\’t worry about what she\’ll bring. The luggage she carries has made her who she is, not someone for you to repair and heal. Just let go and let her reveal her self to you when the time comes.

  6. Stefan skriver:

    I…i will.I´m in no hurry. I can wait a lifetime and then die without having ever met her, rather than hooking up with someone just to chase the loneliness away. Damn. Somtimes i can´t believe my words when i write them and i find them to be so true. Makes me wonder who i have become. Oh. I just realized that this correspondance is taking place in the fora of my blogcomments. Hah…well well./S

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